Work Therapy is an online feature that answers readers' questions about managing workplace stress and anxiety. Send questions to worktherapy@wsj.com, and please indicate whether you would like your name associated with the question.
Question: There isn't much of a hierarchy where I work, and the few people with recognized authority don't mediate conflicts. Because roles aren't clearly defined, there's a lot of anxiety about job performance, which results in people undercutting each other and stepping on each others' toes.
I love the institution where I work but hate the way it's run. I genuinely want to do my job well, but get so depressed about the dysfunction, petty back-biting, and the amount of time wasted over politics. How should I deal with this situation?
Answer: Like the co-worker who clips his fingernails in his cubicle, feedback is something we avoid at work. Many managers shy away from evaluating employees, just as their underlings tend to cower when they hear the words "performance review."
But without feedback, no one knows if they're doing a good job or a mediocre one. This can result in a bunch of insecure people creating a ruthless, gossip-choked atmosphere, not unlike the one on television's "Project Runway."
"What was set up to make them feel empowered is disempowering," says William Pollack, a clinical assistant professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, who also counsels companies on personnel matters. "It's better to have some kind of structure in place to give them feedback on their work. With highly motivated people, they want feedback on how they're performing."
This doesn't mean you should confront anyone with authority at your organization and demand that everyone be criticized (although you'd probably get an earful if you did). Instead, find a sympathetic co-worker. You're not seeking this person out to complain about the others' catty behavior (or so-and-so's dorky whale-printed pants). You're looking for an ally who will support your feeling that the organization should have more structure.
"If people are getting together behind the water cooler and gossiping about each other, they can easily get together and talk about how the system isn't working for them," says Dr. Pollack. "Find a work buddy to talk to about how the system is upsetting you, not about someone else. This will make you feel emotionally more supported."
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Then make an appointment with one of the people in your office who has some recognized authority, someone who you think won't be defensive or dismissive, to talk about how the workplace atmosphere is affecting you.
"It can be a verbal request," says Frank Massino, a psychologist in New York who coaches executives. "Say, 'I'd like sit down with you and talk about how we can pull the department together.' Give the person an advance idea about what you want to discuss. When it's more formally done, people tend to respond more seriously."
You can bring your supportive co-worker with you to the meeting, but that could create an undue sense of drama. Another option is to tell your superior that a co-worker shares your feelings and the supervisor might want to talk with your colleague, too.
Before you tell your superior what you're feeling, make it clear you came to her because you see her as a leader. You view her as someone who can alter things within the company. Not unlike the way Miami Heat saw Shaquille O'Neal. Then be direct about what you believe is going on and offer suggestions about what could be done to change it. Again, this isn't a gripe session.
"Say, 'This is what I perceive is happening. This is what I think we can do in the future and this is how it will benefit both of us,'" says Dr. Massino.
Hopefully, once this person hears how the lack of feedback and structure is turning your workplace into a soap opera, they'll want to do something about it. But there is always the chance they could dismiss your troubles. "Not my problem" is such a common sentiment that it's been slapped on T-shirts and bumper stickers.
"I would be a quack if I said it was always going to work," says Dr. Pollack.
"You can't always change the organization. You can try and know you've done the most you can do. Then you can make a decision about whether it's good enough or if you'd rather be looking for another job."
This isn't a small workplace indignity you have to suffer through, like a Saturday shift. The way to feel good about your work is to be connected to it. If you never get any response about it, if no one seems to care what you do, it hampers genuine productivity.
"No one should work in a job where the expectations aren't clear and where you can't measure failure and exceptional successes," says Joseph L. Mancusi, president of a workplace consulting firm based in Sterling, Va.
"You'll always be under stress." |
