Question: I recently started a job as an investment manager. Two months after I started, I became pregnant. I think I'd like to continue working after my baby is born, but people say you can never know how you will feel. How and when should I break the news to my managers?
Answer: I'd suggest you tell them during your second trimester. It's good that you have time to figure out a way to transfer your duties and to train someone to fill in for you. Develop a plan for accomplishing that and present it to your managers at the same time you tell them the news, advises Deborah Brown-Volkman, an East Moriches, N.Y., career coach and author.
Be honest and straightforward; tell your manager you like and enjoy your job, and that your current intention is to return and pick up your duties as before. Let them know how long you intend to be out. Beyond that, you really can't do more.
Question: You've written about topics that are taboo to discuss at work. What about one's sexual orientation? I neither flaunt nor hide my homosexuality. However, people generally assume that I'm straight. At what point do I tell them my partner is same-sex?
Answer: Research shows being open about one's sexual orientation contributes to mental well-being, says Douglas Haldeman, a Seattle psychologist. "It's stressful to go to work and pretend" you're straight, he adds. However, take stock first of the potential consequences, and make sure coming out is worth it to you.
"Not every workplace is optimal" for disclosure, Dr. Haldeman says. Check into whether your state or municipal laws and your employer's policies offer protection against discrimination because of sexual orientation. Consider the attitudes of your bosses, and how they might take the news. Some bosses would be upset if they heard about your sexual orientation on the office grapevine, for example, which could in turn hurt your career.
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If you do decide to come out, Rich Gee, a Stamford, Conn., executive coach, suggests two informal approaches. Rather than announcing your sexual orientation, you could place a picture of your partner on your desk and, if asked about it, simply say who he is. Or you might bring up in casual conversation the fact that you live with your partner, perhaps over drinks after work. Either way avoids focusing too much scrutiny on a personal and private matter.
Question: Your article on caregiver well-being was interesting. However, wouldn't it be helpful for employers also to provide access to long-term-care insurance?
-- G.E., Chicago
Answer: Long-term-care insurance can be helpful, and 46% of 590 companies surveyed this year by the Society for Human Resource Management, Alexandria, Va., make group plans available to employees. But the extent to which it provides stress relief for caregivers depends on the policy.
While potentially beneficial in many ways, the policies also can be complex, and the premiums often can rise at any time, says Donna Schempp, program director for the Family Caregiver Alliance, a San Francisco nonprofit. Premiums can run several thousand dollars per year, depending on age and other factors; costs are higher for the most comprehensive policies. Consumers should look hard at what a policy actually offers, including whether it includes care in the home or an assisted-living facility, or only in a nursing home. Ask what proof of disability or level of previous care is required for benefits to start.
These details can be complicated and can drastically delay payouts. Another issue is whether the policy covers help with the custodial care that family caregivers provide, or only skilled nursing. These and other variables can greatly affect a policy's impact on the family. |
