Should people applying for jobs slip off their engagement or wedding rings? Some readers have revealed they'd be willing to hide their martial status during a job interview.
I was shocked -- until I remembered I'd done the same thing. On the way to a job interview several years ago, I weighed whether to remove my engagement ring. I felt ridiculous for even considering it, but I really wanted the job. I had no idea about the office culture and I didn't want anyone making assumptions -- however unreasonable -- about my commitment to work. Before getting on the elevator, I slipped the ring into my pocket.
In hindsight, I'm sure it wouldn't have mattered. It turned out that many in the office were married with kids. Have any other women -- or men -- considered this?
Readers say:
"Although I will never remove my wedding band, I don't want anyone to look at my engagement ring and think, she doesn't need this job, what is she doing working?"
"I firmly believe that you need to be who you are in a job interview."
The Proper Role Model
We hear term "role model" a lot, especially in reference to working mothers. But are the examples set by working parents different from at-home parents? All of us show our kids how to handle busy schedules and challenging situations, be it with a boss or a difficult school administrator. All of us need to demonstrate things like a sense of humor, respect for others and the importance of goals. The key may be showing our kids we are content with our choices.
What other attributes matter in a role model?
Readers say:
"Being a role model has nothing to do with whether you work or not. It has everything to do with being the kind of person -- by your attitude, demeanor, presence, actions and words -- that you want your child to aspire to be."
"The fact that [my stay-at-home mom] didn't have a vibrant intellectual and professional life outside of the home didn't provide a good model of the options that life offers to women. That seemed limiting to me as a kid."
Rise, Shine and Rush
My daughter starts preschool next year, and one issue weighs heavily on my mind: How on earth will we get out the door by 7:30 a.m.?
Several recent "getting dressed" episodes with my daughter, which involved ear-splitting wails and multiple changes of pants, spring to mind. I am not a morning person, and missing the commuter train to work can set me back a good 30 minutes.
Parents, how much extra time is enough? What's your morning strategy?
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Readers say:
"I have two kids, ages two and four. ...If I know I will be rushed in the morning I 'let' them sleep in their clothes the night before (it's a special treat for them to do this)...."
"Is afternoon preschool an option? It is for us and it's a lifesaver. My four-year-old hates being rushed, especially in the morning."
Volunteering at School
The headmaster at a prospective preschool explained that parents are expected to do more than just drive their kids to and from school. Some volunteer work is required.
Of course, we want to be involved in our child's education. But the reality is, many parents have to work long hours to afford to send their children to preschool at all. If we aren't often volunteering at school, parents who work less than full time may pick up the slack. Will this create resentment?
Readers say:
"I'm a stay-at-home-mother, and I'm in school volunteering every week. Do I resent the other parents who don't do it? No. I'm not the family police and their schedules are their business."
"Our biggest gripe is with certain arrogant working parents expecting my stay-at-home wife to pick up their slack."
Nanny vs. Day Care
It's a classic debate: Are parents better off hiring a nanny or using day care?
Good, quality day care can have many benefits. And many parents don't have the luxury of choice -- often, day care is more affordable than a full-time nanny. My husband and I did have a choice, and we opted for a nanny. In part, the reasons were practical: my husband was traveling often and my work schedule was incompatible with most child-care centers.
Journal editor Jamie Heller argued the other side: "There is a high cost for the commitment of a nanny: commitment back. Not only in the form of more money, but psychologically and emotionally, too."
Readers say:
"We went with a nanny for a variety of reasons: Day-care kids tend to catch more bugs. I could not live without the light cleaning [the nanny] does while my son naps. I feel like my son gets more one-on-one attention.""The decision to go with a day-care center was based solely on the accountability factor. I'm comforted knowing there are several teachers, a director and an owner overseeing the classrooms and the teachers." |
